They sailed all the way under Africa over North America and stopped at the Falkland Is. There weren't many inhabitants there. Oh I Forgot to introduce the pirates! There was Captain Flanks, Pirate Pete and SKULLS. Pirate Pete said "There's a visitor " "Er, Shiver me timber's" said Captain Flanks in a grumpy voice. "He looks feisty." Jerry was looking his usual self and very cheerful. Jerry asked SKULLS if they had cell service or any cheeseburgers Pirate Pete said they could sail him to America Jerry said okay and they sailed off.
Finally they made it to Austin, Texas where Jerry lived. They went to Carl's Jr. and bought 4 cheeseburgers. SKULLS didn't eat his so he gave it to Captain Flanks. Pirate Pete tried to steal Jerry's so he took Pirate Pete's.
There was a lot of detail in your writing. There was one main problem and that was good. It was a good length. Pippa liked how you said 'Oh I forgot to introduce the pirates'.
ReplyDeleteNext time can you tell us what the pirates looked like and can you add more detail to make it longer.
I enjoyed your story Luke. I like how you've used speech for effect and you've speech marks correctly. Well done!
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ReplyDeleteVery nice work, it was very interesting, next time you could maybe work on doing the story a bit longer. From Sam
ReplyDeleteI liked your story next time you could describe the pirates
ReplyDeleteThis was from Aaron
DeleteThis is my STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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